What If
by CdL
Summary: What if Connor / Steven wasn't an only child and a girl was born in the WISHVERSE too, raised by Darla and Angelus. Ascents on Angels relationship with Connor and Darla and Angelus' with thier daughter and both finding the other sibling. Will write anothe
1. Default Chapter

What If  
  
Chaper 1  
  
To most people, darkness was frightening and cold. But to Caitherine Angel, it wrapped her up warmly in its grasp and familiarity. It was a dank and lonely place in the light. And No one seemed to understand that. So as she walked into the Bronze, she tried to put these thoughts out of her head. But as she seen the couples dancing, people playing pool, she felt more alone than ever and the frigid feeling clawed once more at her heart, telling her that she sis not belong here. She would never belong here, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she did. That her parents were here, her friends, people that she loved. It was her life. But still, now and then this feeling would get to her. That little voice in the back of her mind, saying the words she had heard all her life. The saddest words in any language and even in no language at all. What If?  
  
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"Connor?" A masculine voice came through the door, pulling him out of his thoughts. The recognition shone but a moment in his bright blue eyes, as he muttered a guttural sound then said his father could enter. His Father. That would take some getting used to. But maybe it would fill that empty space in his heart he had always felt. That feeling that there was something missing. Perhaps it would. He hoped so.  
  
"Hey pal." Angel entered his sons' room and sat down on the bed. Connor was lying on the bed, his knees brought up to his chin and arms around his legs. He looked so tiny and fragile, like the baby he was less than a month ago. But he knew to Connor, or Steven he had insisted on being called when he first arrived but had recently abandoned, it had been fifteen years. He looked into his blue eyes and unexpectedly seen the boys mother in there. Just a little, not much, but enough. The way she looked the night he was born. Inside, he felt a stab of pain to the thought she never got to see him just once, or hold him close. She never would. "You hungry?" he asked quietly.  
  
"No," he replied, nonchalantly.  
  
He was trying hard to build bridges, but it wasn't easy. He hardly knew him, but really Connor wished he would just talk of him, cry it out, anything that would indicate he seen him as a parent. Indicate he had some feeling towards him other than more than clarified hatred. But it didn't look like that was going to happen any time soon. So he took what he got. So for now, he just tried to get the child to talk to him.  
  
"You haven't eaten all day. How can't you be hungry?"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
He was too thin for someone his age, he had noticed. But pushing would not get him anywhere.  
  
"Would you like to do something tonight?"  
  
"Don't mind,"  
  
Angel sighed. This was getting him nowhere. Maybe hit the problem on the head then.  
  
"Your very quiet." He told him, running a finger down his cheek, feeling the warmth in his skin.  
  
"Am I?" he rested his head on his knees.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"No, I was just thinking, that's all."  
  
Angel just smiled. "You shouldn't do that too much."  
  
Connor lifted an eyebrow. "Think?"  
  
Angel grinned. "Yeah! Too much thinking leads to brooding, and that thing spreads like epidemic, I can tell you."  
  
"What do you suggest I do, then?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Well, we could do something. If you want."  
  
Connor shrugged. "Okay."  
  
"What about…going for Chinese?"  
  
"Chinese?" he asked, an inquisitive look in his eyes.  
  
"Some of the nicest food ever! Come on."  
  
"But I'm not…"  
  
But it was too late; he was being dragged to the elevator. 


	2. What If Chapter 2

What If  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"Its a nightmare! I wish I was dead!"  
  
Barbra Okabe was sobbing quietly in the girl's bathroom at Kent Preparatory School, on the out skirts of Sunnydale.  
  
"Its not that bad," the voice came from one of the cubicles. The chain flushed and Caitherine Angel stood beside her best friend, smiling sympathetically.  
  
"Not that bad? Jason Andrews told everyone I kiss like a plunger!"  
  
"People will get over it! They'll move on to the next person soon I promise." She pulled her dark, curly hair out of its bobble and began brushing it.  
  
"Cait, that's not even the worst part." She sighed, and gave her eyes a quick wipe. " I still love him."  
  
The two girls started to leave the bathroom and headed for the field outside the school. They sat on the grass under the trees, behind the tennis court. Caitie sat in the shade as always, she burnt easy and got migraines in the sun.  
  
Barbra flung her dark blonde hair over her shoulder in one swoop, and sighed, "Love bites".  
  
Caitie just stared at her for a moment. Then smiled, "It is *not* love with you guys," she replied.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Barbra said annoyed, " Then why do I get these little thrills," She reached to the small of her back and looked at Caitherine. "Right here when he's around?"  
  
"One word for you hun," she pulled her hair back up into a dark blue base ball cap, leaving two small pieces hanging round her face, giving the impression her hair was much shorter than what it really was. "Passion."  
  
The bell rang for afternoon classes. Barbra threw up her arms in an elaborate gesture. "Then I hate passion!"  
  
" How can you hate passion?" they walked into the classroom for registration, or homeroom as they call it here, and sat on their usual seats between Harmony Kendall and Christine Hills. Both girls had moved there since Sunnydale High had gone up in smoke in a freak 'Accident'. "It's like my dad says, Passion is the source of our deepest moments. The ecstacy of love and happiness, the clarity of anger and hatred and the horror of death and despair. Without it, we may as well be rotting corpses."  
  
"Wow, you're really putting things into perspective. How do you do that?" With the registering finished the girls stood once again. Caitie shrugged.  
  
"Ms Angel?" Caitie looked up to see her biology teacher, Mr Dorban.  
  
"Yes sir," she asked politely. Well as politely as you can to a small fat bald little bug.  
  
"Hat off."  
  
"Yes sir." pulling it off, as her hair tumbled around her back and shoulders.  
  
As she entered her maths class, she remembered she hadn't done her homework the night before. She had been out at the bronze with Wills and Sandy.  
  
'Welcome to my glorious life.' she thought, shutting her eyes as the teacher entered.  
  
"Good afternoon, girls." Miss Clevedon started. "To day we are going to study the multiplying and division of ratio..."  
  
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"A stake, a stake!"  
  
Connor's ears pricked up, tossing a sharp piece of wood to his father. However, this particular girl, just would *not* give up. Roundhouse, flips, nothing would get this chick down. So it was time for the reserve: brutal force. Slamming her up against the alley wall, slamming the stake straight through her. As she turned to dust, he ran over to finish the last one off, when he seen Cordy do it.  
  
"Welcome to wonderful life" he muttered as somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard his father say it was time to go back to the hotel, home. 


End file.
